Jennifer Bubel



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Freddie looks like he's had a rough night...every night. He is supposed to signify courage and dignity, but he mostly just symbolizes being tired.

Freddie Falcon

Atlanta Falcons

Howdy from Rowdy, y'all! Did that intimidate you? No? Rowdy is about as threatening as the Cowboys making it to a Super Bowl in the next decade.


Dallas Cowboys

Speaking of non-threatening mascots, the Chiefs decided to go with a dumbfounded wolf with very wide hips. The better to sack you with?

KC Wolf

Kansas City Chiefs

First of all, he's a saint. The most threatening thing he can do is guilt us. Second of all, how can anyone take that chin seriously?

Sir Saint

New Orleans Saints

I fear FOR Captain Fear. He does not look okay. He also looks like he could really use a trip to the barbershop.

Captain Fear

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Jaxson's antics on the field have gotten him into some trouble, but the spotted jaguar is more a danger to himself than anyone else.

Jaxson De Ville

Jacksonville Jaguars

Well, we certainly can't say Steely isn't scary. He is TOO scary. He makes you wonder if he's carrying that steel beam for work or as a weapon.

Steely McBeam

Pittsburgh Steelers

Mascots should be a little silly too, right? But a Titan is defined as "a person or thing of very great strength, intellect, or importance". So...a racoon?


Tennessee Titans

Bolt man is the stuff of nightmares. He looks like he should be part of the Umbrella Academy, which is about a dysfunctional family of "superheroes".

Bolt Man

Los Angeles Chargers


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